I am a victim of my own self hate. I’ve spent the last 23 years, judging myself. Wondering if I was good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough. It’s amazing how self critical of ourselves we can be.
Like when you hear a woman 3 times smaller than you calling herself fat; She’s not lying, she truely believes she is fat. Everyone has their own body insecurities, even if you think they look perfect.
How beautiful life would be if we could see ourselves through someone else’s eyes.
But do you know what I’ve learnt recently?
It doesn’t matter who you are, you cannot please everyone. Different people have different views and what they class as beauty etc. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.
Before I had the girls. I dispised my body. Which looking back was ridiculous really, I was tall, slim and stretchmark free. But I didn’t look like ‘that girl’, my hair wasnt as nice as hers and blah blah blah.
Well as the years have past, I’ve got older. My weight has sky rocketed, I gained 5st in my first pregnancy, lost it again. Put back on another 3 stone with Lola. Which thankfully I’ve lost again.
What I’m left with is not ideal and I verbally bash myself everyday, mainly because I’m not the shape or size that I was before.
I’m no longer solid, I’m squishy and soft
My belly has been so stretched it hangs in almost a sad way, the skin is rippled and marked.
My bum has melted into my thighs and I’m left with a wobbly cheeks.
Each part of my body has at least one stretchmark.
My boobs have dropped and hang like spaniels ears.
I’m definitely no model by any stretch of the imagination. But when I look at what my body has achieved, suddenly it’s a temple.
To successfully create not only one but two healthy beautiful babies, is truely amazing. And for that I love my body.
I know alot of you feel the same, alot of you are embarrassed about looking like an over prooved batch of bread dough. But please don’t be, you are beautiful, bags and all 💗