It’s a funny thing, well not funny.. That’s totally the wrong word. But it’s funny that you are responsible for your own thought process.
I believe everyone is subjected to mental illness at some time in their lives. But it’s the control of your subconscious that saves you. But the further you fall into anxiety the more you lose sight of reality.
I guess it’s kinda like falling in a hole. A bit like Alice is wonderland.. You want to get back to reality and be home, but you fall deeper and deeper and end up in a whole alternate universe.
It fascinates me that you can be ‘cured’, you can have ultimate control of your subconscious, yet at times of vulnerability it can rear its ugly head.
99% of the time, I’m fine. I hear anxiety, I challenge it and then I forget it. There is however, that ugly 1% of the time where it gets me. I’m not ashamed of that and I believe it’s something that should be spoken about.
In that 1% of the time, the voice in my head isn’t kind. It tries to steer me away from my life’s beauty and I hate it. When it comes, it comes in full force. And it takes all of my brain power to snap myself out of it.
As the years go by, I meet more and more people who experience anxiety. Whom experience real life fear, all caused by a little chatterbox in your head..
I honestly believe its caused by the society we live in today. Money, looks, health, wants, needs etc etc.
But what I try to tell myself on a bad day, is that everything is okay, I’m just not rationalising my thoughts properly. This isn’t forever, it’s just a bad day. A planted negative seed has sprouted, I just need to find some weed killer.
Anxiety is always going to be a part of me. But it isn’t who I am! It will not define me, it’s just a battle that I face at times.
Today is my bad day, but tomorrow will be so much better.
Peace out ✌