I’ve been thinking alot these past few days. (I know, dangerous right?)
My nan was taken ill on Friday, we were unsure if she would make it. But she’s proved everyone wrong, thank goodness.
But for me, it’s put a few thing’s into perspective.
This ward is full of severely ill elderly people… Here I am, sat on one of those high backed chairs (that leave an imprint of your arse cheeks for about 5 minutes) sipping a powdery vending machine hot chocolate… Just looking, watching and taking it all in.
All of these people have a story, a history, a family. Do you think they may look back and have regrets?
I see myself as a good person generally. I make time for everyone, I take on board people’s problems, try to solve, help and put people at ease. But I’ve realised by doing that, at times I put myself on the shelf.
It’s okay giving others guidance and relief, but taking shit on board is a-whole-nother ball game. And that’s my biggest downfall.
I think the time has come for some mental clarity. My mental health has always played a huge part in my life, there is only so much my noggin can take before it cracks…
When I’m old… If I’m lucky enough to make it that far. I want to look back on my life with a positive mind, full of happy memories… Sure there will be hardship and sadness. But mostly, I want to look back with no regrets…
That’s the trouble with us humans. We make life so much more complicated than it needs to be.. Which often is where regret and misery stems.
I think when you’re young, to a certain extent you feel it’ll last forever, but time flies.. Let’s stop complicating things now and grab life by the balls!
When I’m a little old lady sat in my arse imprint chair, I want to look back with a smile on my face.
Simplicity and positivity is key for a happy life. And that’s the life I want.
It’s time to start living 💗