I’m feeling rather reflective today, this birthday has hit me in the feels alot harder than the previous ones.
I think it’s because this year marks the start of her new life, sending her off to school didn’t seem possible. But here we are, counting down the months!
This time four years ago, I was laid in a hospital bed. Staring at the little clear cot next to me in awe of the little baby staring back. I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared about doing something in my life. I cried alot that night….
You could blame the exhaustion, the hormones or the crash of absolute reality hitting me.
But there she was, that little baby that I’d yearned for so badly. She was here.
I was so young and my goodness so very uneducated. Honestly I had no idea what having a baby truly entailed till she was staring me right in the face… (But that goes for most things if life right?)
I remember laying there, crying my eyes out, just wondering how on earth I’d survive 24 hours. I had no idea what she wanted, I had no idea why she was crying, what she liked and disliked, how to change her, how to feed her. I was terrified of doing it all so wrong.
But look, I did it. We did it! We survived And here we are today, another little baby in tow and….. blink and my tiny firstborn is a 4 year old… An utterly delightful 4 year old, whom still terrifies me on the regular in completely different ways.
How on earth have four years just passed us by?
“The days are long, but the years are short”
Probably one of the most real quotes around.
So today…. I’m laid in bed, with baby number two hanging off my tit. Ruby snug in bed, worrying about how on earth I will make it through another 4 years with all my marbles still intact….
Here’s hoping eh!! 😊